The IWSG Anthology blog will be featuring posts from each of the contributing authors in Dark Matter: Artificial over the next few weeks. We’ve asked them to share a little about how they came up with their stories and preview what’s to come!
C.D. Gallant-King on his short story, “Space Folds and Broomsticks.”
A few years ago I saw a call for submissions on an anthology of sci-fi retellings of classic fairy tales. Unfortunately I missed the deadline, but it sparked several story ideas that have been rattling around inside the ol’ brainpan for awhile. One of them was a version of Hansel and Gretel, something that I haven’t seen re-done as often as old standbys such as Sleeping Beauty and Little Red Riding Hood (for examples, just search “Red Riding Hood + erotica” on Amazon).
Of course, I didn’t want to make it too much like the original--for one, I don’t think a story about parents dumping kids in the wilderness would go over as well today as it did back in the 1700s. Come to think of it, did anyone ever sympathize with the parents in that one? So instead, I combined the basic premise of the Grimm Brothers’ tale with another love of mine--military sci-fi, in the vein of Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Wing Commander, and Battlestar: Galactica. And voila--the story grew from there.
Of course, I had to made it funny. I can’t write anything without taking the piss out of it.
I have always maintained that genre fiction is inherently funny--the tropes required to write genre fiction are, because they are by definition over-used, ridiculous. Space cowboys, wizards in pointy hats, wars between ancient gods, even straight romance or mystery--it’s very hard to use these things and make a genuinely fresh and interesting story. It certainly takes far more writing skill than I have. So instead of trying, I usually just lean into the ludicrousness and have fun with it. It’s not to say my writing doesn’t have serious moments or tragedy, I still have to slip those in from time. In fact I find that those serious moments land even harder when bookended by comedy. It should be no surprise that my favourite authors are Kurt Vonnegut and Terry Pratchett, folks who wrote “genre” fiction but included a lot of serious topics in their satirical sci-fi and fantasy.
I’m not comparing myself to Vonnegut or Sir Terry. I’m not smart enough to write like Vonnegut and not British enough to write like Pratchett, but I do my best.
I hope you enjoy it.
Sleahn and Treeg are the most incompetent recruits ever to step foot inside the Federacy’s training academy, but they can’t be due to their family’s political standing. Can their instructors get rid of them quietly by taking advantage of their young pilots’ own ineptitude?
Commandant Jacob was the director of the Federacy training facility aboard the star carrier Schwarzwald. She was a career officer, a tall woman with a sharp nose who rather looked like one of those large flightless birds from that desert-covered outer colony planet. She achieved her position, like most highly-ranked officers and politicians in the United Federacy of Independent Star Systems, despite any outwardly visible signs of competency or qualifications.
She currently sat in the large hot tub in her quarters, sipping Norgothian whiskey from a dainty wine glass. Captain Sawx stood before her, feeling uncomfortable but desperately needing to have this conversation. He had spoken to commanding officers under worse conditions. In his younger days he had a Lieutenant who gave his morning briefings while sitting on the toilet.
Sawx, standing at attention in his perfectly pressed grey uniform and polished boots, did his level best to ignore the fact that his CO was in a compromising position.
“With all due respect regarding Ensigns Sleahn and Treeg--they are going to kill someone.”
She nodded solemnly. “We are soldiers, Captain. That is part of the job description.”
“Not to kill their own squad mates!”
“Ah yes, that would be irksome, wouldn’t it? Would really put a damper on the next round of team-building exercises.”
wrote his first story when he was five years old. He had to make his baby-sitter look up how to spell "extra-terrestrial" in the dictionary. He now writes stories about un-heroic people doing generally hilarious things in horrifying worlds.
He's self-published three novels, Ten Thousand Days in 2015, Hell Comes to Hogtown in 2016, and Psycho Hose Beast From Outer Space in 2020.
C.D. has also written ten novels you haven't read, because they're still locked in The Closet. The Closet is both a figurative and literal location - it is the space in his head where the stories are kept, but it's also an actual closet under the stairs in his basement where the stories are also kept. It's very meta.
He's a loving husband and proud father of two wonderful little kids. He was born and raised in Newfoundland and currently resides in Ottawa, Ontario. There was also a ten-year period in between where he tried to make a go of a career in Theatre in Toronto, but we don't talk about that.
Coming on Wednesday, February 17, 2021 . . .
Next up is author Kim Mannix who shares the inspiration for her sci-fi short story, “Rift."
Your stories always have a biting, funny edge to them and I've loved all three that ended up in IWSG anthologies.
You just keep rocking the humor, CD.
Great post, Stephanie! Sorry I didn't get by yesterday. I'm still making the IWSG co-host rounds. I recently read C.C.'s wonderful book "Psycho Hose Beast From Outer Space," and I can't wait to read his story. C.D., I think it's vey difficult to pull off humor, and you are outrageously funny. I'm excited to see you have a THIRD anthology honor! Have fun this year!
Great post! I love hearing the background of the story. I never would have made that connection without reading this. The story is enjoyably humorous!
CD! Welcome to yet another IWSG Anthology! Looks like I've joined you in the ranks. BTW, I read your story and it sure surprised me. You're a great story weaver!
Ooh, I'd like to taste Norgothian whiskey!
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